The Dice Kill

Youve Got to Know When to Walk Away, Know When to Take a Double-Move Action

Table-top gamers tend to be a superstitious bunch. Maybe it goes hand in hand with the in-game proof that praying to the god of your choice can make your arrow fly more accurately. Or maybe its the result of a chemical compound produced in the gourmet gestalt of Cheetos and Mountain Dew. Whatever it is, we definitely have our rituals and eccentricities. One of the ThinkGeek Monkeys was in a group once in which one of the players would begin rolling before the game started, declaring he was 2getting all the bad rolls out.2 Another would chide him because he was 2wasting all his good rolls.2

But we all feel theres something more to the dice than just random chance. When the dice control life and death, they become imbued with powers beyond stochastic phenomena. Weve all had The Good Dice and The Bad Dice. This shirt memorializes that horrific night everyone has had when your dice were out to get you. Youll roll a critical failure, or worse, a nearly critical failure, manage to hit, and then do so little damage you actually *heal* the enemy, because laughter has healing properties and the enemy cant stop laughing at your feeble attempts. And then, when the enemys turn comes around, it involves a save-or-suffer-horrible-consequences effect, and you fail your saving throw. Because thats just how we roll. Sometimes. Unfortunately.

2The Dice Are Trying to Kill Me2 printed in black on a 100% cotton, charcoal gray t-shirt with seven polyhedral dice with really bad rolls scattered around the text.